I love going to movies, and I recently saw one I think should be nominated for Best Picture! “Avatar” was written and directed by James Cameron, who spent a decade developing the technical wizardry that’s so evident in this film. But along with the amazing high tech (especially when you see it in 3-D) is the fantastic spiritual connection his characters portray in their world of Pandora. Here, the Na’vi clan of Pandora has a highly developed culture, with rituals that embrace unity consciousness.

In the Hindu world, the word “avatar” indicates the highest embodiment of spiritual consciousness. James Cameron has done a fine job of suffusing his movie with an awareness of the Unified Field. Read my review of the movie on the Huffington Post at http://www.huffingtonpost.com/deborah-king/avatar-recalls-the-ancien_b_400489.html.

I just finished writing a piece on Domestic Violence; you can read more about domestic violence abuse in the resources section. I get really triggered just writing about this topic. It seems like everywhere I turn, I find more cases of Domestic Violence, not less. Recently, we’ve been focused on MacKenzie Phillips and Roman Polanski – talk about violence. Last week, I worked with hundreds of individual women at ISpa, a high end conference for the spa industry, where one would NOT expect to find victims of violence. The first day, I worked with a lovely woman in an executive position who had been badly beaten by her boyfriend – he had broken her nose.  So don’t assume that you’re safe because your partner is college educated and has a job. Domestic Violence does not discriminate; it affects us all.

Please share your stories here. We can only be safe when we refuse to be silenced.

I bet you’ve never heard of chronic onychophagia, even though you may have indulged in it yourself. The name you do know for this common stress-relieving habit is nail biting. More than half of all toddlers, a third of young children, over 40% of adolescents, and 19-29% of young adults do it. By the time you’re an older adult, that number has gone down to 5%. It’s also more common, for some reason, in intellectuals.

Why are so many kids and teens busily chomping away at their fingernails when they are nervous, stressed, or bored? Well, they’re always at hand, so to speak. From the moment of our birth, we’re geared to put things in our mouth; it gives us a feeling of satisfaction, of being nurtured. If food isn’t available, then our own hands and nails become a substitute. Boys are more likely than girls to continue nail biting into their teens and beyond, especially since they are less likely to be concerned about manicures and nail polish.
Nail biting, if it’s severe enough to cause bleeding or painful finger traumas, can be described as an act of self-mutilation and may require outside help. But most of the time, it’s a basically harmless habit, although it can transfer germs buried under the surface of the nail into the mouth. Many nail biters get frustrated by the habit or ashamed of themselves for not stopping. If you want to stop, first try these two simple remedies:

1. Buy a lot of cheap nail files and put them around wherever you work or play. Since people rarely bite or pick at nails that have smooth edges, grab a handy file and sand down any rough spots right away.
2. Get the awful tasting nail polish available at most drugstores. The stuff leaves a horrible taste in your mouth whenever you bite a nail.

If your nail biting is related to anxiety, the best way to stop the habit is by learning some stress relief or relaxation techniques. For example, instead of chomping on a nail, occupy your hands in another way: do some yoga poses, play a musical instrument, take up knitting. You can also learn to release anxiety through meditation, visualization, or breathing techniques. There are some very good relaxation tapes available as well.

When public figures straight out lie to us, and then use lame excuses to justify it – throwing around the phrases “deeply regret” and “profoundly sorry” like candy from a parade float – do they really expect us to believe them, or in them? Ted Haggard messed up – not because of his sexual orientation – and we could have understood had we been told the truth. Instead, excuses, half truths, and more lies cover what could have been a stunning moment of clarity for him and a huge step on his path to self improvement and redemption. His most recent version of “truth” is a desperate attempt to regain power and status, not peace. See my blogs on the Huffington Post and Psychology Today for more on this and other stories.

Posted January 30, 2009 | 01:01 PM (EST)
Just how honest has Ted Haggard been with himself and the media as he tries to repair his public image? He’s been on a number of TV shows to coincide with the debut of the HBO documentary called “The Trials of Ted Haggard.” I’d give him a C- for effort…. Read Post

Are we even surprised at lying anymore? It takes something extreme to raise our ire – we live in a culture that specializes in convenient truths, and only when something becomes blatant do we respond. What happens in the macrocosm of our society mirrors our mind body connection. We live our own convenient truths, many times burying that which we do not want to deal with. We deny, deny, deny – as adeptly as any politician. You can lie to your friends, family, coworkers, and even in front of a packed Congressional hearing; but you cannot lie to your body. For a dose of truth, check out my blog on Psychology Today.

By Deborah King on January 29, 2009 – 1:31pm in Psychology Today
When you’re sitting at home on your couch watching Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich look straight at an interviewer and swear he did nothing wrong, do you have the urge to stand up and shout: How can you lie like that on national TV!? Read More

I could argue about gay marriage until my face turns blue -how sexual orientation is but one part of someone’s identity, how Jesus doesn’t care about whom we love, but that we love. I hope what I say sticks, but if someone were to argue with me till he was blue in the face that gays are evil, worthless, etc…it wouldn’t change my mind. Where does that leave us with gay marriage? It boils down to one thing: civil liberties. We pride ourselves on being the Land of the Free, so we must include everyone in that freedom. Marriage is a basic civil right. If you can’t see allowing gay marriage out of misguided “morals,” why not out of a belief that our country should treat everyone equally? More on this issue and the fear holding gay marriage legislation back on my blog on the Huffington Post.

Posted June 16, 2008 | 09:29 AM (EST)
The weddings start this week in California as gay marriage becomes legal. West Hollywood is thrilled; Bakersfield is not. While others cities and towns across California are preparing to boost their economies through wedding services for same-sex couples, Kern County Clerk Ann Barnett decided to stop performing all weddings after… Read Post

Jim McGreevey on Larry King Live

October 10, 2006

I recently saw Jim McGreevey, the former Governor of New Jersey, on Larry King Live and was impressed by what a difference the truth has made in his life.

McGreevey stunned the media last year when he announced that he was gay and was resigning from office. He’s now telling all—about his relationship with his gay lover, leaving his wife, and the end of his gubernatorial career—in a new book called The Confession, currently at the top of the best seller lists.

What I found so interesting about McGreevey’s appearance is how happy he seems. He radiates a profound inner contentment because he has finally come to terms with the truth in his own life. During the program, he told Larry he is at peace now that he has finally revealed he is gay. He had thought his political career was the most important thing in his life—and had done whatever it took to protect it. In the process, he not only hurt his wife and family, but made himself miserable. When the truth that he was gay could no longer be denied, at first it brought great chaos to his life. But in time, he found a way to a new life of honesty.

McGreevey’s story mirrors what I see in my practice. Sometimes the fear of the truth is so overpowering that we go to extreme lengths to nurture and foster the lie. We protect the lie, at great expense to ourselves. But facing our own truth allows us to live the life we were always meant to live.

The truth healed Jim McGreevey. I believe it can heal anyone who is willing to acknowledge it.