I was recently interviewed for the Star-Ledger to discuss appropriate & inappropriate comments in the workplace.  During our discussion we examined the recent flap over David Letterman’s one-liners about Sarah Palin’s teenage daughter.  I think this  has served as a reminder that people often cross the line of appropriateness even when they think they’re being funny.

Anything that involves the big five — gender, religion, age, sexual orientation or ethnicity — are off limits.  They’re completely inappropriate for the workplace. Please take a minute to read the original post as I provided some cues for workers to follow if they think a joke-telling colleague is crossing the line.  You can read the entire post here.

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I have received a great number of comments and calls about my apparently controversial ideas about Elizabeth Edwards and her publicity tour for her book Resilience.  In addition to the calls and comments I have received, I was on CNN Headline News yesterday examining the questions created by her media tour with host Mike Galanos.

The one question no one seems to be asking in the midst of this whirlwind media blitz is: What can we learn from this?  Read my complete analysis and exploration of this topic on the Huffington Post.    www.huffingtonpost.com

Excerpt from the Huffington Post:  “As her book title indicates, Elizabeth thinks she’s demonstrating that when the wind blows rough, the tough adjust their sails. But the more important lesson may be all about how denial and revenge don’t work.”

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It was fascinating watching Elizabeth Edwards’ body language as Oprah interviewed her, and that of her husband (for a brief time at the end). As much as Elizabeth and John have been working on their trust issues, I think she still has some inner work to do to restore her shattered self-confidence. Despite her obvious desire for a marriage that promised “happily ever after,” writing a book that brings the whole sordid affair back into public scrutiny might not have been the way to go. Read my analysis in the Huffington Post.

She held up fairly well during the interview, although the self-doubt she expressed as the wronged woman–did I dress all wrong at home, what do I mean to my husband, the classic “what’s wrong with me”– was echoed in the way she held herself hunched inward. The issues of trust they are working on as a couple are equaled by the shaken trust in herself: she had failed to keep her husband faithful–the one thing that meant the most to her. (While tempted, I won’t digress here and talk about how she “took on” her mother’s issue of spousal infidelity) Read more

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Yes, surprisingly, I too ended up after the Oprah interview feeling more sympathy for John Edwards than for Elizabeth. it’s one thing to be really angry with your partner and quite another to hang him in full public view. I found it pretty depressing.
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

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I am always trying to increase awareness, so it’s important that we look at even the unpleasant truths in our lives. It’s interesting to see the amount of denial in Elizabeth Edwards regarding her husband’s affair with a woman she won’t even name. Unfortunately, she knew that John’s candidacy was doomed because the truth was bound to come out, and yet she kept standing there…as his main cheerleader. Political wives are in a difficult situation when their husbands stray, and like Hillary Clinton or Silda Spitzer, Elizabeth stood by her man. Why do they do that? Read my blog on the Huffington Post.

Let’s take the denial first. I mean, wouldn’t you want to know if your husband had fathered an illegitimate child? Pulling the shades down over your eyes and never ever saying out loud the name of the “other woman” (or not allowing Oprah to say her name) won’t help a bit. I’ll say it: Rielle Hunter–a reportedly broke single mother who is probably not the crazy stalker Elizabeth paints as the root of all evil. Read more

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Hi Steph,

Thank you for taking the time to vent! Just a couple of clarifications:

1. No doubt Bill Clinton respects and admires Hillary’s many talents, but I believe he also sometimes feels quite intimidated by her (who wouldn’t?!) and that that is one factor that leads him to his countless infidelities. My guess is they stay together for a host of complex reasons that include love and public status.

2. I made no comment on the importance or lack thereof of sexual fidelity in a relationship but Elizabeth did; perhaps you’re recalling her statement.

3. People don’t cause cancer; emotions can though. As a health and wellness expert, I’ve worked with thousands of cancer patients and see many of them turn the corner and begin their recovery when they are able to face their emotions and move through them. A woman like Elizabeth who is still in denial, i.e., can’t even bring herself to name the enemy, has a way to go however. I do believe that Elizabeth might well have a significant improvement in her health if she were to look at this situation more honestly. Writing a “tell all” and dragging your errant spouse on national TV is a great payback but doesn’t address the real pain that lies underneath.
More on Hillary Clinton
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

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Actually, Bob, I can imagine what it’s like to have cancer as that’s what I had! I found that when I faced the lies I was telling myself about my own life that I got better. I’d love to see Elizabeth Edwards get better too.
More on Hillary Clinton
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

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All we need to do is look. Look and acknowledge what we really see, instead of what we wish we could see. If we feel unloved, if we feel hurt, if we feel sad, we need to see it and acknowledge it. If there is one lesson to be learned from seasoned liars – Rod Blagojevich, Bernie Madoff, OJ Simpson, the list goes on and on – it is that even if our lies are not on the same scale as theirs, they can surely do as much damage. To our psyches, our bodies, our souls. We can learn from liars – not to become better liars! – but to jumpstart emotional healing. My thoughts on the lies we tell ourselves can be found on my blog at the Huffington Post.

Posted January 26, 2009 | 02:39 PM (EST)
There is a long list of people who lie and unfortunately it’s growing these days, whether it’s another author whose “memoir” never happened or a chat-room flame who isn’t who he claims to be. We’ve grown wearily accustomed to lies from the heads of our most established institutions-financial, political, or… Read Post

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Body Language of Obama and McCain

Yesterday’s meeting of Obama and McCain revealed interesting body language. Obama had his legs widely crossed, he lounged back in his chair and angled his body toward McCain, all of which signified openness and a high level of ease. McCain, on the other hand, seemed pretty ill at ease. That’s not a criticism — any of us would feel the same. His legs were crossed very tightly (more like a woman’s), he sat up ramrod straight and his body was angled straight ahead, not at Obama. All of this simply demonstrates  that we can’t hide how we really feel to others — our bodies speak louder than words.

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When I learned John McCain had selected Sarah Palin to be his running mate, I thought, “Hallelujah! No matter who wins, it will be an historic first.” Then I saw and heard Sarah Palin, and thought, “No! If they win, no one wins. Women certainly do not win. In fact, we will be set back a century.” From her seduction of the camera to her inexcusable ignorance, Governor Palin’s brand of politics we can do without. Is this what we want to teach our daughters? That women don’t succeed on their merit but on their resemblance to a Barbie doll? Learn what Sarah Palin’s demeanor tells us about her anti-feminist ideals at my blog on the Huffington Post.

Posted November 12, 2008 | 07:22 AM (EST)
Sarah Palin hasn’t gone away. Oh, she may be back in Alaska, but she’s also all over the media, as in recent interviews with Greta Van Susteren on Fox News, on the Today show with Matt Lauer, and on Larry King Live. Even Oprah has invited Sarah to her show!… Read Post

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