It’s been a year since the world was shocked and saddened by the tragic death of a true superstar: Michael Jackson. A brilliant performer, he was also a man in deep pain. Driven by his father, Michael had been on stage since the age of five; by ten he was a national sensation, which left little time to be a child. The public adored him, but his achievements did little to bolster the development of a sense of self-worth. He turned to drugs to dull the pain rather than using his vast resources to set about exploring his inner truth. To read more about Michael’s dilemma and how it could have turned out differently, re ad my latest blog in The Huffington Post.

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The 82^nd Academy Awards showed us what women can accomplish. Kathryn Bigelow became the first woman to ever receive an Oscar for Best Director, a highly prestigious award that should lay to rest forever the old saw that “There are no good female directors.” And this was a woman telling a war story—The Hurt Locker”—that takes place in post-invasion Iraq. Then she had to turn right around and accept a second Oscar for Best Picture.

The following day was International Women’s Day, which reminded us of how far we are from reaching a place where all women around the world enjoy equal rights and equal opportunities. Much progress has been made over the last 100 years since International Women’s Day started, but there’s still further to go. Read my Huffington Post blog about it at http://www.huffingtonpost.com/deborah-king/international-womens-day_b_490724.html.

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It takes courage to speak out about incest, but talking about it is a major component of healing from the trauma of abuse. It’s bottling up the secret that keeps a victim feeling “dirty,” and filled with guilt and shame. Yesterday, Oprah had a follow-up show to her interview with Mackenzie Phillips that featured more brave souls who shared their experiences of incest—women who had been afraid to speak out until Mackenzie opened the door for them.

One of the guests was Kathryn Harrison, who had written a book about her 4-year incestuous “affair” with her father, called The Kiss. When it was first written, over a decade ago, no one believed her. As more people reveal their experiences, it will become safer for victims to open up about the traumas that shaped their lives.

Watching Oprah’s show, I was once again triggered to remember some of my past with my father. You can read about it on the Huffington Post.

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The topic of incest has exploded into the media with the revelations of MacKenzie Phillips, the young TV star of “One Day at a Time,” about the sexual tie between her and her father, Papa John of the iconic 60s group, the Mamas and the Papas.

As the survivor of incest myself, I understand all too well both her situation and the reaction she can expect from family members who will want to deny her truth. Most of all, I want her to know that, despite what she has said about the relationship being “consensual,” incest is always the parent’s responsibility. For her to heal, she will have to know that it was never her fault.

According to the National Center for Victims of Crime, “Studies conclude that 43% of the children who are abused are abused by family members.” And despite the secrecy involved in incest, it’s estimated that over 10 million Americans are victims of incest, most of which is father/daughter. It’s important to know MacKenzie’s story so we can open the doors to a public discussion of all sexual abuse, including the shameful taboo of incest.

Many are horrified or disgusted by the depravity of incest, but as a seeker of truth you’ll want to read my blog in the Huffington Post.

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I’d love to be able to take a swim at the beach, sit under a tree reading a novel, or chill out with some cold chocolate ice cream, but I’ve been pulled back into the reality of the world by Michael Jackson’s father, Joe, appearing on Larry King Live to deny he ever beat his son. That, on top of watching Chris Brown’s 2-minute video apology for beating Rihanna, have given me a worse headache than biting into an ice cream cone. You can read about the abuse issues that have clouded the clear skies of my summer enjoyment in Psychology Today.

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Can’t sleep? How about knocking yourself out with the “milk of amnesia” used for surgery? Anxious about performing 50 intense shows at the age of 50? Try 40 tabs of Xanax and add in some antidepressants. Michael Jackson certainly was a believer in better living through chemistry.

So many people these days are reaching for the prescription drug bottle to smooth out the wrinkles in our lives that use of these meds, especially pain relievers, has surpassed usage of illegal drugs as the pathway to oblivion . . . and, in Michael Jackson’s case, to death.

Read my blog on this topic from the Huffington Post.

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Michael Jackson brings up conflicting feelings in me: sympathy for him as an abused child and admiration for his talent as a performer, while not condoning in any way his probable behavior as a child molester. I watched his trial on charges of sexual abuse and thought there was evidence of guilt, although I was glad to see the charges dropped because of the way in which the trial had been conducted. Read my blog in Psychology Today at http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/mining-the-headlines/200907/michael-jackson-and-sexual-abuse

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I lived in Santa Ynez (down the road from Neverland Ranch) when Michael Jackson was on trial for sexual abuse. It was obvious that he was being persecuted, not prosecuted.  I was so glad when the trial was over. Although I thought the evidence showed him to be guilty, the trial itself was a travesty of justice and the charges were rightly dropped.

Jackson was not only a victim of a wrong-headed trial, but also suffered greatly from his emotional and physical abuse as a child. Actually, he was never really allowed to be a child, which he tried desperately to do as an adult. It didn’t work, and his coping mechanisms left him more broken in heart and spirit.

Read my blog about Michael Jackson and his unfortunate early death on Psychology Today at http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/mining-the-headlines/200906/michael-jacksons-broken-heart.

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It looks more and more likely that actor David Carradine’s death was related to the risky sexual practice called auto-erotic asphyxiation, or AEA. It’s the grown-up version of what kids call the “choking game.” Carrdaine, who is best known for his recent role in the “Kill Bill” movies and the mid-’70s TV series “Kung Fu,” was found in his Bangkok hotel room with ropes tied around his neck, genitals, and wrists. His ex-wives confirm his penchant for dangerous forms of sex play. Read my blog about this on Psychology Today.

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Yes, surprisingly, I too ended up after the Oprah interview feeling more sympathy for John Edwards than for Elizabeth. it’s one thing to be really angry with your partner and quite another to hang him in full public view. I found it pretty depressing.
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

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